did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
