i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
