Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
