what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
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HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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