I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
