Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize