Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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