I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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