You can't motorboat a personality
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
