Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
