Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
