Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
