you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
