I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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