My friends, they love my intelligence
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
