So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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