sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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