Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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