i need an iv and a liver transplant
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
