Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
then he tried to convert me to islam
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
