I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize