I bet he comes in French.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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