Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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