Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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