i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
