dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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