i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
