Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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