Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
