I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have already put on my inside pants.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
