A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize