He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize