Define "chronic" masturbator.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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