ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
