hotel room ftw
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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