Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize