I'm gonna have a badass scar
North Korea, Best Korea!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
