weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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