You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
