Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
