tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
