i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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