I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
