she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
