I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it's like iHOP with fire
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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