so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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