just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
