We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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