i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
