Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That accounts for only three of the penises
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
