Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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