with your own penis?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
