That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
