im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
