Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
